Who Are You When No One Is Looking?

Have you ever met "that" person who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk, or the person who pretends to be this great person but as soon as they think you aren't paying attention, they show their true colors? What are they lacking, and why do they sell themselves short? To put it simple there is a little something called character. The most simple explanation of character, in case you don't know, is who you are when no one is looking. However, you aren't born with good character, it is learned through experience and the desire to be consistent with your actions.

The first thing I always pay attention to when I meet potential friends or even the old friends who change over time, is their actions, rather than their words. Actions are how I determine solid character. The older I get, the more I realize that I don't want to be disappointed while giving my energy to people who are a lot of talk with little action because frankly, who has time for all of that? (Definitely not a wife and mom of 2 boys) Look, I know there are so many great traits that people have, like being smart, and while having knowledge may give you some power, good character will gain you respect. Have you ever heard people talk about a name that has been known to have a good reputation? Yes, me too, but have you ever met them and thought, really... they seem like a douche (for lack of a better term). That's because there is a difference in reputation and character. Just because you have a good reputation for

something doesn't mean you possess good character. Why would I say that? Well, because your reputation is what others think of you, but your character is who you really are. One can only hide it for so long until people are no longer fooled by their words.

In addition to character, integrity is also what you do when no one is looking. Integrity is when you choose courage over comfort, doing what's right over what benefits yourself, and most of all practicing what you preach. I've learned that people have good intentions but sometimes the people who preach, actually need to be preached to- it's like the saying, "take your own advice." You can't tell me to be kind to others and then turn around in the same breath and bash someone because it makes you feel good about yourself.

To wrap it up, I am a big believer in being who you are, to each person you meet. I never want one person to say, "She's a really friendly person" and then the next person say, "What the heck are you talking about, she's a witch." If you're going to be friendly, be friendly to everyone you meet, that is until they give you a reason not to be, (which I can touch base on another day, another blog). Smile even if they don't smile back. Let's face it, life throws some pretty annoying people our way and it takes everything to keep our composure, but take those times as lessons learned and continue to move on. Try your best to give people respect even if they don't show it to you because it becomes a reflection of your character, and in the back of your mind always remember sometimes people will do what they can to ruin yours, so don't let them. Keep a secret because it benefits someone other than yourself, or step out of your comfort zone to stand up for someone else. These are ways to shine light on your character. Also, always remember to stay humble, or life will do it for you. Stay true to yourself whether you're in or out of the presence of others. Finally, don't make it weird!